I had a doctor’s appointment with a neurological oncologist at UPenn on Friday afternoon.  I was hoping to work out a schedule for radiation during the appointment.  In the last two weeks I have been able to wrap my head around radiation and come to peace with the destruction and damage it is going to do in my life and in my family’s life. We are becoming more and more ready to face this next trial in our cancer journey.

However, early Thursday afternoon I got a call from UPenn saying that their tumor board looked at my file and they may think that surgery would be a good way to go in addressing my brain tumor.  I could talk about it more on Friday with the oncologist.

Kick in the Nuts.

I don’t want to have my head noodled again.  Once was enough for me.  I can’t wrap my head around a second surgery.  Jenn and I have been thinking about what route to take in the coming months with my cancer.  We are coming to terms with radiation.  We feel like we can endure chemotherapy if we have to.  The side effects for both are going to be incredibly tough.  The thought of another surgery is daunting.  I will have a season where I am knocked out by the weight of the side effects with chemo and radiation.  But I should be able to recover.  But one of the side effects of brain surgery is death or major damage.  If a doctor makes a mistake, or nicks a blood vessel or something like that, it will be death or major damage – like learning to walk or talk again.

It was a kick in the nuts.  We ended up going to the appointment with the oncologist to plead our case against surgery.  We laughed in saying that we are ok with radiation.  (what kind of world do I live in where I am ok with my head getting blasted by radiation?)  They can convince us about chemo.  But we would make our stand against surgery.